"These are a few of my favorite things..."

I was warned about moving abroad that I would go through stages of adjustment--like initial enchantment, to feeling like everything and everyone was backwards, to finally feeling at home. Well, I feel like, lately, I've been going through the "Proud to be an American" stage where I remember with fondness many of the culturally "American" things that they don't have here. You know, it's like that feeling you have when you've been away from your hometown for a long time, and upon your return, you notice with vividness all the charms that you usually pass over. So anyway, here is a list of some of the American things I've been missing.

1. African American culture---Ok, now hear me out. I know I am not personally African American, nor was I constantly immersed in that culture in the states. However, there is beauty to African American arts and music and people that is lacking over here. I miss their friendliness and their gospel and their hip hop and their colloquialisms. The other night I heard this totally white English girl say in her whitest, most British, most Princess-Di-ish accent...(imagine it with me)..."I'm a gangster, yo, yo, yo." (She was tipsy, and why she was saying this is beyond me.) I was like, "please, honey, don't even try it." The other day I heard "Mo Money, Mo Problems" blaring out of someone's car and I wondered if folks over here can even understand what is being said.

2. Simplistic English---It seems the British like to stylize phrases that would otherwise be quite plain, and call me simple-minded, but I prefer the straight-forwardness of American English. For instance, I spent a couple of days at work last week trying to figure out if the time "half eight" means 7:30 or 8:30 (it's the latter). However, "quarter ten" means 9:45. Why can't they just say 8:30 and 9:45? I am also having to learn to spell and give numbers like this: My surname is spelled W-E-double L-S; or my phone number is 6-treble 8 (for triple)-7-treble 4-double "not" (for 0)-and so on. Those Brits, they like to say it fancy. Its too easy to just say W-E-L-L-S.

3. Big bags of chips---The other day I bought some tortilla chips in a bag that holds approximately 2 servings. Who ever needs just 2 servings of tortilla chips? If there were a superbowl here to watch, I'd need at least 10 of those small bags to go with the guacemole for the party.

Speaking of tortilla chips and guacemole....

4. MEXICAN FOOD---Seriously, we need some Mexican immigrants over here! I don't want to pay the equivalent of $12 for one enchilada made with meat that is far too high-quality, a side of rice (or "chips"/fries if you prefer), and a garnish of cole slaw. And if I have to pay for my appetizer of chips and salsa, please give me more than 2 tablespoons of salsa. And have they never heard of sweet and sour mix? Its about as hard to find margarita ingredients here as it is to find authentic Thai ingredients in Clanton, Alabama. Oh how I long for some El Maguey or Panchos or even Taco Bell. And the white cheese dip, oh the white cheese dip.... Give me the good, cheap, sloppy Mexican with lots of refried beans, and Grade B ground beef, and $2 margaritas, and no cole slaw, and I'm one happy camper. Yes, they definitely needs some Mexican immigrants over here.