Monday, October 09, 2006

Infestations?

So Pam started her job today. It mainly centered on taking complaints from people in the community related to "Environmental Health." There were the usual type of complaints and some were a little more unusual. Some of these were so good that I have decided that i am going to have to arrange them into a top ten.

10. A burglar alarm has been going off since 5 am, somewhere down the street.
9. My neighbor's car is too noisy.
8. There is a wasp's nest in my air ducts.
7. I found a rat in my garden.
6. There is too much dog "foul" in the park. Can someone please put up a sign?
5. There has been a fire burning in the lot next to me for three weeks. Can someone please put it out?
4. I break out in a rash if i touch any surface that a bug has touched. I need someone to spray my house.
3. My neighbor's trailer is starting to stink. I suspect that they do not have a septic tank and are burying their waste in the yard.
2. There are fleas in my house and all over my son.
1. The lady downstairs is making a lot of banging. It is because she is a prostitute. (She proceeded to explain) No, like she has lots of different men coming over for sex.

There you have it folks. Dave, eat your heart out.

1 comment:

AllHomeSecurity said...

Hello fellow bloggers,

I recently published an article on how security systems work and which are the most effective for your home – here is a quote from it, in case you are interested:

Talking Security Devices. First these devices have been used mainly for talking, but later on they have been integrated into home security system, along with other facilities like opening the door, turning on the light, and for emergency alert.

Back-up Power Supply. You don’t want to live in a movie, especially not in a classic thriller where the lights and home security system turn off especially when you need them more. To avoid this protect your house with a back-up supply.

Smoke Detectors. They add supplementary security to your home. The important thing is to be integrated into your home security and alarm system. These detectors don’t just detect the smoke but they can also help you to escape from a fire in time, at the same time, they cam notify the fire department. Some smoke detector systems have a power supply integrated.

House or Window Decals and Yard Signs. These are quite harmless signs of a possible existence of home security system in your house; they are posted on visible places, like windows, doors, in the yards etc., to scary, confuse and deter the burglars.

Wireless Systems. They offer all the protection necessary to your home and you get rid of hiding and masking all those cords, wires and extra outlets (you can never use for other purposes). The parts, spread around your home, communicate with the master control panel through radio frequencies – mostly used together with wireless CCTV cameras .

Security Services. These services are furnished by companies, which offer you not only the installation but also the maintenance of the system, the monitoring for cases of emergency to alert the police department, fire department, the ambulance, and relocation services for the cases when you move.

Master Control Panel. It is the central device that collects the information from all the sensors and keypads, and transmits the data to the monitoring companies.

If you feel this helps, please drop by my website for additional information, such as advice on buying a home security camera or resources on home security alarms .

Regards,

Michael